Terminus Things, one of Brighton’s flagship art galleries (copy and paste) is set for improvements after securing an Art Council grant of close to half a trillion pounds.
The cash will pay for a huge new bar to replace (copy and paste) old habits as well as new offices, rooms and repairs to the property – which is a fucking proper late 19th century shithole.
Terminus Things is (copy and paste) the ONLY venue in Sussex to receive money.
To celebrate our win to fail award, we shall be holding a one-day show in May with the humble assistance of TRES international local-based but international artists HombreRojo, Irún and Whatshisface.
"As so with that, I thought I'd take a final walk
The tide of public opinion had started to abate
The neighbours, bless them, had turned out to be all talk
I could see their frightened faces
peering at me through the gate... Cunts, cunts, cunts."
Bank Intervention with Josef Helmes. Santander Branch, London Road, Brighton 2016
Taking minutes at the Garden Centre with all the artists, barbers, baristas, tattooists and amateur philanthropists involved. OUR new three-million-pound toilet extension is a fact. The Royal Ballet Arts Council England will be dealing with the bill. Avocados nibbles.
Luka Bravo @lukabravo Jul 29 OPEN HOIST: MEETINGS FOR 2015 Funding:OXFORD - WALES - FRANCE SECURE. @danielyanezgonz @artistshouses #artsjobs
"SLUSH PUPPIES SOLD HERE. THIS MESSAGE is a reminder to you to supply two Hoists to me before you go away. First: Cropedy Village in Oxfordshire. Second: Green Man Festival Wales or in Cardiff City."
"Cheers. Let´s meet up next week for a potential delivery. Starting to work on ´My Sweet Lord´ piece. Don´t know what I´m doing with it, but as T. just said ´it means nothing.´ Spot on. Will surely add real sweets to it, though."
"Fucking great. Haribo sponsor. New York Abstracts. What you going to do with it? Wipe the fingerprints of course. Mini disc X-Wing Commander will hunt your ass."
"Doing research for Open Hoist. Always keep your Reading warm and wanky. The hoist is just too high, fortunately."
"Are you OK if we meet on Saturday? My stuff is still drying. Also spent some time terrorforming new business cards. Feel good about the degradation of profesional business deadlines. The deal´s rotten, the café is closed and the laptop screen has gone blue. Then you win. See you Saturday."
"The postcode was Tom Paines residence and then the pub he frequented in Lewes.
Dinosaurs by Felicity Winterflood volunteer for instant Response magazine. Private view: 10 minutes."
Coming soon, in association with Apollinaire Free Press & Scottish Pre-Widows Windows: Redman & Gonzalez Open Hoist OXFORDSHIRE & WALES 2014. August 2014
"UKIP house clearance. Those private views drinks... and that's what they are... are gone."
"Well, the soul remains. We just have to tell our grandchildren."
"Yes. Have got Tuesday afternoon into Weds eve off to complete Olly MPEG Mars Aye Hoist. If we can a Weds eve meeting would suit me best for the full exchange."
"Meet me outside the albino Albion hotel on Wednesdday afternoon for some minute TAKING? Was meant to be photo documenting some event at F*** today. Couldn't be fucked."
"The postcode was Tom Paines residence and then the pub he frequented in Lewes.
Dinosaurs by Felicity Winterflood volunteer for instant response magazine. Private view: 10 minutes."
"Yep. Feel good about the degradation of professional business deadlines. The deal is rotten, the café is closed and the laptop screen has gone blue. Then you win. See you Saturday."
"Yo, can you do me a shit print out of Papin, the Marseille player. I am doing an ink replica of your great poster. Cheers."
"The Text ' Bernard Tapie a mangé mon hamns´is important. And now I´ve changed it from a poster to now being a magazine cover for Time Travellers. People that go back to see Olympique matches but support the opposite team and just boo... Shit print out coming up!"
"Dear Dear colleague.Stop. Installation day tomorrow. Stop. At 40 miles from St Tropez. Stop. Near where French President Hollande was born. Stop. By the sea. Stop. Access only by snorkelling among black and brown rocks. stop. Rich kids yatchs floating on the background. Stop. Will update and send pics when coming back. Stop. Saw a brown and red octopus today whilst looking for locations. Stop. Stop."
Subject: RE: The 108 Shoreham to HorshamDate: Mon, 7 Apr 2014 16:43:14 +0100From: CChatfield@compass-travel.co.uk
CC: AWalsh@compass-travel.co.uk; email@example.com
Thank you for your enquiry. Unfortunately, like most rural bus routes this service is not financial viable without a subsidy. It therefore operates under contract to WSCC who set the timetable. At one time it did operate daily but with successive budget cuts it has been reduced over the years so that it now only operates on Wednesdays.
Compass Travel (Sussex) Limited
West Sussex BN13 3RB
Tel: 01903 690025
From: Matt [mailto:matxxxxx
6 April 2014 14:09
To: Ann Walsh
Subject: The 108 Shoreham to Horsham
I would like to make an enquiry as to why the 108 merely travels from Shoreham to Horsham on Wednesday's only?
"OK... update. I'm going to the town in the south nearby the immigration center tomorrow to maybe Hoist with the Africans. Have realised that they are treated the same as if Clarkson's Aviary. They have a community there after 18 months of detention and pass an English (not XXXX) test. Fascinating."
"Outside Marsa Detention Center. People wait by as they still have family inside... They gave me food there. We talked about Khat and football, and getting jobs around Europe."
"I spoke about putting the Hoist up to them. They wanted our street art there. Fuck the flag."
"Starting Hoist mission soon. Bus to Valetta and Albert Town."
"Our volunteer for today was Hassan from Somalia."
"I told the guys that asked that the Hoist was a freedom prayer by Atheist drunks."
"I have got more photos of the work on its own that I will email later as I'm still nervous from going there. For now, here's to JaGs!"
SHOW UPDATE: Redman & Gonzalez, in association with Apollinaire Free Press, would like to thank The English Druids League for their generous support and understanding of the artists' particular set of creative propositions. Redman & Gonzalez decided to modify only one of their 15 original propositions: PROPOSITION No. XIV - To cease all beer subsidies &/or the subsidied practice of engaging in sexual relations in exchange for institutional funds.
"Please, make an agenda note of this for a meeting: Just saw two builders sit in a tea-room with an iPad. They've just got up and left when they found out there was no WiFi."
At Open Hoist, in association with Apollinaire Free Press, we are running an unemployed artist volunteer scheme in partnership (a partnership is an arrangement in which parties agree to cooperate to advance their mutual interests) with Brighton's Jobcentre Plus. This scheme encourages unemployed slave artists to take up volunteering to help improve their skills and job prospects. Come and volunteer for us. You will not need to turn up, a couple of beers will suffice. We shall report back (Report Back being a secure online system for Monte Carlo based forecasting and analysis) to Her Majesty's slave traders the wonders of your free workfare status and/or competence, while opening our wallets with a sincere funding face.
We are celebrating our Annual Artists Open here in sunny Brighton and would like for our Open Moyes exhibition on the seafront this June to supply sausage rolls to our guests. In exchange for use of your logo on our published material and to promote your wonderful British institution to our more senior audience which we have in our questionaires we would like a small donation of £4.00 for nibbles.
Our magazine will circualte to around 2,300 homes on Brighton & Seaford.
We understand that your are also epic charity lovers and wonderful. We search once again in our hearts for this dream to continue.
Matt Redman and Steve Wayne
Dear Commercial Team,
We are an artists volunteer group just starting up, based across Durham and have partnerships in East Sussex.
We would like as part of a community exchange to create an arts event; Open Hoist at the wonderful Vicotoria Park.
The event can take place outside the stadium (or amazingly in it!?) with maybe H'Angus and some long throw competitions with demonstrations from Darren Holden vs. H'Angus for a funny video or whoevers up for it. We would like to raise a flag for adults with Learning Disabilities amidst these
times of cut backs and austerity effecting poorer areas of the local area and how sport can ensnare peoples hopes and dreams. The event can take place any time as we can be flexible but we wouldnt expect to encroach on match days. It would only take half an hour of your time and be a great photo opportunity for both of us. We will of course bring with us a bag of savoury snacks and a beer for the monkey!!
We are serious about promoting our cause and would like to offer a handshake to you all at Victoria Park.
Matt R and Lucy Irun Campbell
"That's fine, although it's important for me not to have a manifesto. The unmanifestno can change with each Hoist/House/Moyes/CyndiLauper/Havant Library."
"No manifest-o, of course. Flexibility, adaptation, being chameleons... That was the original point. We aspire to create nothing, nada, niente; and feel proud about it."
MINUTES TAKING AT THISTLE HOTEL, BRIGHTON (11.06.2014)
"Twitter is just so stupid. Newhaven News just retweeted about Wet Wet Wet and also Brighton Museums earlier. It's just a load of crap! I know that's obvious but I didn't expect my audience to be my friend. Amazing. Addictive."
Redman & Gonzalez are working for Open Moyes 2014 ever so hard. Here's them at Thistle Hotel yesterday taking minutes and whatever was available for the taking. Free drinks were provided by the local newsagent. T-rave, our free slave unemployed volunteer from Jobcentreplus did not turn up. He will consequently be castigated with a two-week zero-pound zero-hour penalty. "She was in the toilet with Ronaldo -the Brazillian one, already retired from Football-, and he started to cry and she gave him a blowjob..."
Please Sir thankyou
I would like to book one of your entertainment specialist strippers for a female birthday event at our Artists Open House.
I would like the artist to be funny but not too rude and not to entirely Full Monty but be a bit strippy.
The event will take place in Dundee in Febuary 2015 at the http://dundeesocialclub.webs.com/ Dundee social club1990.
Also I would like to ask you a serious question since we are all debating here:
What makes Mr.Right?
From: "Readers" <problems@DearDeidre.org>
Sent: May 27, 2014 2:52 PM
Subject: RE: Dear Deidre
Hi, Luka. Thank you for emailing.
To find your Mr. Right, give yourself the chance to meet as many new people as possible and find new friends. It is unlikely you will know in a flash – but it is just possible. In most cases, a relationship starts with attraction and friendship and then develops into something more special over time.
My leaflet on how to find the love of your life is attached for you.
All the best,
Dear Benjamin (at Good Housekeeping),
We would like to re-introduce ourselves as customers from a long era of gratitude to your good natured magazine in more ways than you could ever imagine.
Not only do we observe your activity with keen eyes but we also would like to partake in advertising our annual Open Hoist Art Trail. These next few years we have already secured funding for our projects in Germany, South England/Hartlepool (Open Schools), Malta, Greece and Dundee Scotland (10th anniversary).
Please would you contribute to our project in a partnership scheme once again this coming December and we will only ask that you exchange logo use and small mention in return for small donations towards our nibbles at the houses which so readily will be open. This will include Eco-pastry and cleaning products mentioned, reviewed and advertised in your magazine for keeping the houses clean over the difficult winter, especially in poor area's of Dundee.
Once again Benjamin, it is wonderful to connect with you after so long without interconnectivity and so random our forces permeate afar only to join again.
(M.Redman and Y.Gonzalez affirmed)
Dear Tesco Society Team,
We are an Arts organisation which is serious about the presentation of an Open Artists Studio project.
From County Durham down to East Sussex we have endured a year of great success and encountered a wonderful audience base.
In our magazines and a new website we would like to promote Tesco Society as a good cause and in exchange we
ask for sponsorship funding for canape's at our Open House events this year. To promote especially your Value range of
Savoury Bites, egg composite pastry slices as our target audience is often keen to take measure recent austerity. We would of course accept
simply your best wishes but since food is how you work, and creative industry is how we are then why not make the event secure.
Please get in touch with us about how we can talk about the scheme as we are also keen to have a meeting with your soceity team and
even have one of your representatives at the next Open House grand opening in 2015.
Here is to hopefully a wonderful partnership.
M.R D.Y.G.I / Colin Cooper
"Hove person leaked Open Hoist for Berlin 2013(+5/12). Don't tell Rolex time travel!!"
"May 12: Redman & Gonzalez OPEN HOIST Berlin 2014 ready to go. Thanks for the feedback & nibbles."
"The Arse Council's wind machine in place to sabotage your work. Bloody scoundrels."
"Open Hoist will be celebrating its 10th birthday in Dundee this September... pies!"
"Baby Jesus waits for no one! I like to see Redman&Gonzalez funded by arse council. When is the best time next week to visit?"
Get a free copy from your local nursing home. Redman & Gonzalez Open Hoist 2014. OPENING: Saturday, 3 May 2014. 8A Terminus Road, Brighton.
"Dad, I was hungry."
"Sorry I can't make it, in london till this evening. Hope it goes well."
"Excellent, the Open House season commences in Brighton. I won't go to one, but this was good though, highly decorative, and cheekily it was closed."
Open Hoist 2014. Redman & Gonzalez, in divine association with Apollinaire Free Press. Ignore warnings and beardy hipsters. Periscopes to the trenches.
Redman & Gonzalez, in feudal but neo-liberal association with Apollinaire Free Press, present: OPEN HOIST 2014.
Sculpture, painting, drawing and drawling. Ignore warnings and beardy hipsters. Periscopes to the trenches.
Free sausage rolls and white label beer provided. Expect police constable McElvenna and Conservat...ive MP Douglas Carswell.
NO SALES. All works to "download" for FREE. We shall encourage the use of Phoenician trading. Bring your mama's false teeth.
ARSE COUNCIL ENGLAND and Vrighton & Hobe City Council funded.
(*) Dealing with legal issues can be difficult and confusing. Apollinaire Free Press provides free specialist legal advice and representation to disadvantaged and submergent anti-poets & partists.
NEUE FROTH KUNSTHALE
16 - 31 MARCH 2013
LILLI ****MANN / WILLEM ****MANN / ****RD LIPSKI / KATE LY**** / NEAL ****
DANIEL YÁÑEZ G****LEZ / MAX ****ON / GERALDINE S****E / TIM ST****